Mental Health Moment: Ten Tips for Dealing with Parental Estrangement

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Parental estrangement is emotional and physical distancing between a parent/s and their adult child, resulting in a strained or severed relationship. It can be triggered by various factors such as disagreements, misunderstandings, differing values, or more serious issues like emotional or physical neglect or abuse. The reasons behind parental estrangement are complex, and individuals may choose to distance themselves from a parent for their own wellbeing. The experience is emotionally challenging for both the parent/s and the adult child involved.

The following are tips which offer help for either person of the estrangement:

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Accept and validate your emotions. Feelings of loss, anger, and confusion are valid responses to the situation.
  2. Build A Support Network: Surround yourself with friends or support groups who can offer understanding and encouragement.
  3. Establish Healthy Boundaries: Clearly communicate and enforce boundaries that protect your emotional wellbeing.
  4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid self-blame. Estrangement is a complex situation.
  5. Focus On Personal Growth: Use the experience as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal development.
  6. Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings to gain clarity and process your emotions.
  7. Engage In Activities You Enjoy: Invest time in hobbies and activities that bring you joy and fulfilment.
  8. Explore Forgiveness: Consider forgiveness as a personal process, recognizing that it doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation.
  9. Give It Time: Healing from parental estrangement is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and the situation.
  10. Seek Professional Help: Consider therapy to help navigate and express the complex emotions that come with parental estrangement. Therapists can teach effective communication skills to navigate difficult conversations if your child wants to talk. Therapy offers a chance to explore the root causes of the estrangement, helping individuals gain insight into their own contribution to the misunderstanding. Therapists will teach you healthy coping strategies to manage emotions. Finally, therapy can help you understand, create, and enforce healthy boundaries for the repaired relationship moving forward.

Therapy is a personalized journey, and the specific benefits can vary depending on individual circumstances and goals. Remember, there is help and hope.