Modern parenting has become highly involved. Many of us may hover, protect, and step in quickly to solve problems for our kids. While this comes from love, too much intervention can make it harder for children to build resilience, confidence, and coping skills. Add in the constant pull of screens and social media, and many kids grow up struggling with boredom, frustration, and independence.
A New Approach: Obstacle Parenting
Instead of removing every challenge, obstacle parenting gives kids space to face small struggles and learn from them. It’s about doing less, not more, and trusting that kids can figure things out.
- Resilience Comes Through Struggle
- Shielding kids from every difficulty robs them of practice in handling life’s challenges.
- Small frustrations (like a tricky puzzle or waiting a few minutes for help) build patience and problem-solving skills.
- Boredom Isn’t Bad
- Constant stimulation from screens can dull curiosity.
- Letting kids experience boredom creates space for imagination, creativity, and self-discovery.
- Screens and Social Media
- Technology isn’t going away, but heavy use can lead to loneliness and anxiety.
- Balance matters: limiting screen time, teaching mindful use, and modelling healthy habits are key.
- Parents Need Restraint Too
- Kids notice when adults are glued to their phones.
- Modelling presence—reading, drawing, or simply sitting quietly—teaches kids that life doesn’t have to be constantly filled with screens.
Practical Tips for Parents
- Pause Before Helping: If your child asks for help, wait a few minutes. Encourage them to try first.
- Make Things Just a Bit Harder: Give challenges that require effort—like board games, chores, or puzzles.
- Encourage Real-World Play: Let kids play outside, climb, build, and explore with peers—even if it’s messy or imperfect.
- Embrace Boredom: Remind kids (and yourself): “It’s okay to be bored.” Often, creativity follows.
- Create Screen-Free Zones: Mealtimes, bedtime routines, and family outings can be tech-free moments.
- Model Healthy Habits: Put your own phone down. Show your kids how to be present, curious, and engaged in the real world.
- Build Community: Rely on neighbours, friends, and extended family. Kids need more than just parents—they thrive with a wider circle of support.
Obstacle parenting isn’t about making life hard for children. It’s about giving them space to:
- Build confidence.
- Develop focus and endurance.
- Learn how to handle frustration.
- Discover creativity in boredom.
- Grow into resilient, less anxious adults.
Sometimes, the best gift we can give our kids is to step back, let them struggle a little, and trust that they can rise to the challenge.
