by Rebecca Pink, Registered Provisional Psychologist
When was the last time that you offered yourself the same kindness that you so freely give to others?
Most of us don’t hesitate to comfort a friend who is struggling. We remind them that they’re doing their best, reassure them that difficult times don’t last forever, and gently encourage them to keep going. We can look into someone else’s eyes, recognize their pain, and meet it with empathy, endless compassion, and love. Yet when we look in the mirror, that compassion can be dimmed or disappear altogether.
I’ve come to appreciate that self-compassion isn’t something we master; it’s something we practice. I’m reminded of that truth in conversations with clients every day. Beneath anxiety, stress, perfectionism, or self-doubt, there’s often a quiet but a relentless inner voice whispering that we should be doing more, achieving more, or somehow being more. Over time, that voice becomes so familiar that we mistake it for the truth,
Here’s the irony: many of us already know what helps us feel better. We know we need rest, connection, movement, creativity, or time in nature. Yet we convince ourselves we haven’t earned those things until we’ve accomplished just one more task or met one more expectation.
But what if healing doesn’t begin with doing more?
What if it begins by changing the way we speak to ourselves?
Self-compassion isn’t about lowering our standards or making excuses. It’s about recognizing our shared humanity. We stumble. We all carry lived experiences that others cannot see. And we all deserve the same grace we so naturally extend to the people that we care about.
This month, I invite you to pause when that inner critic begins to speak. Ask yourself: “Would I say these words to someone that I love?” If the answer is no, perhaps it’s time to choose a kinder response.
Because maybe the compassion you so freely give to everyone else is the very compassion you’ve been needing and deserving all along. Take good care of yourself.
